Some say good manners and proper etiquette are out of style.
Not so, according to etiquette coach and London's leading personal stylist, Camelia Fredericks of The Divine Image. "Most people don't realise having good manners, knowing your etiquette and having top-notch social skills can, not only increase your standing in the eyes of others, it can make you feel more confident, and more poised. The fact is, being polished and having the right attitude gives you an absolute advantage in every area of your life".
Here are some tips from Camelia Fredericks, for the most common social situations that make people feel uncomfortable and how to deal with them:
1. What To Wear?
1. What To Wear?
"Always dress up, because you can always dress down. Never dress down, because you can never dress up!"
What you wear, at any age, expresses one's lifestyle. Studies indicate successful people in virtually every business have developed a look and image that says success. Think of clothing as currency used to barter goodwill. What you wear conveys messages of status: authority, power and rank; personality: friendliness, dependability and adventurousness; character: trustworthiness and good judgment.
Hire a personal shopper, image consultant or personal stylist to advice you on how to project the brand you wish to reflect to others. It is a true investment and will only enhance your life both in your personal and professional life.
2. Is that the time?
In the olden days it was rude to arrive late for a party or event. There was no such thing as being “fashionably late”. Lateness was rudeness – always. "To arrive fashionably late is to be without social grace" says Camelia Fredericks. Do not arrive late and do not leave too early or too late.
What you wear, at any age, expresses one's lifestyle. Studies indicate successful people in virtually every business have developed a look and image that says success. Think of clothing as currency used to barter goodwill. What you wear conveys messages of status: authority, power and rank; personality: friendliness, dependability and adventurousness; character: trustworthiness and good judgment.
Hire a personal shopper, image consultant or personal stylist to advice you on how to project the brand you wish to reflect to others. It is a true investment and will only enhance your life both in your personal and professional life.
2. Is that the time?
In the olden days it was rude to arrive late for a party or event. There was no such thing as being “fashionably late”. Lateness was rudeness – always. "To arrive fashionably late is to be without social grace" says Camelia Fredericks. Do not arrive late and do not leave too early or too late.
3. Chivalry still exists
A true gentleman would always open doors for ladies. Whether it be the lady they were driving, or a stranger entering a building, it was always the done thing. This has now almost entirely vanished – and it is not entirely the fault of the men. I have seen women sneer at men for opening a door for them. They seem to be confusing manners with chauvinism. Our advice in this case is to smile at the sneering lady and open the door anyway. Likewise, it should not stop a lady from keeping a door open for a man who is right behind her. This is merely good manners.
4. Is that my phone ringing?
Mobile phone abuse is common these. Monitor the volume of your ringtone and remember there's always the vibrate function. Ensure your conversation is not disturbing others. Intimate conversations are never appropriate in front of others. Camelia Fredericks advises to try and respect other people's privacy. Never use bad language, have rows or talk about money in front of others in public places.
A true gentleman would always open doors for ladies. Whether it be the lady they were driving, or a stranger entering a building, it was always the done thing. This has now almost entirely vanished – and it is not entirely the fault of the men. I have seen women sneer at men for opening a door for them. They seem to be confusing manners with chauvinism. Our advice in this case is to smile at the sneering lady and open the door anyway. Likewise, it should not stop a lady from keeping a door open for a man who is right behind her. This is merely good manners.
4. Is that my phone ringing?
Mobile phone abuse is common these. Monitor the volume of your ringtone and remember there's always the vibrate function. Ensure your conversation is not disturbing others. Intimate conversations are never appropriate in front of others. Camelia Fredericks advises to try and respect other people's privacy. Never use bad language, have rows or talk about money in front of others in public places.
5. Which knife do I use?
It can be overwhelming to sit down to a formal dinner and have an array of plates, utensils and glassware before you and no idea which ones you should use. Remember, your napkin and bread plate are on your left and your drinks are on your right. If you are concerned about your utensils, work from the outside to the inside in the silverware placement. It’s good to remember that dirty silverware should never touch the tablecloth and neither should your elbows. Do not eat until everyone has been served, and even so, wait until your host begins. When in doubt, always follow your host.
6. Write a thank you note.
It is never too late to thank someone. Even if a couple of weeks or even a month has lapsed, write a note expressing how much you have been thinking about the nice gesture or the lovely gift. It is a shame that gift giving has now become a virtual obligation and the idea of a thank-you note would be scoffed at. If you ignore every other item on this list, at least try to teach your children to write thank you notes – they will have a greater appreciation of gifts they receive.
6. Write a thank you note.
It is never too late to thank someone. Even if a couple of weeks or even a month has lapsed, write a note expressing how much you have been thinking about the nice gesture or the lovely gift. It is a shame that gift giving has now become a virtual obligation and the idea of a thank-you note would be scoffed at. If you ignore every other item on this list, at least try to teach your children to write thank you notes – they will have a greater appreciation of gifts they receive.
7. Actions speak louder than words!
The Golden Rule still applies for good etiquette in all situations - for all genders: Treat others as you would have them treat you. Both women and men should be comfortable helping others with their coats, chairs, doors and the elevator. Even though "gentlemanly acts of kindness" should be promoted in a social setting, the business arena is gender neutral. Good posture, a pleasant facial expression and appropriate eye contact will help to make a good first impression and contribute to a positive interaction with others.
The Divine Image Team x
I do agree that good manners and proper etiquette are very important...they reflect care and consideration for others.
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