Dating Divas

I had a researcher contact me this morning from a tv production company who asked me to be on the panel of experts for a dating show. We talked about dating etiquette and what women should do on a first date and I shared some practical tips with her. 

It made me think that there was a time when dating was so simple.

Men were expected to be gentlemen and women were expected to be ladies. Their roles were clear-cut. In recent times single women are often mixed up about proper dating etiquette. This is particularly true if you are re-entering the singles scene after years of being half of a married couple. It can be quite traumatic to play the "dating game" without knowing the rules.

Singles often feel in a "damned if I do, damned if I don't" situation. For example, if you're a man and automatically pick up the check at a restaurant, you may gain points with one woman but antagonize another. If you're a woman and prefer to pay your own way you'll find that some men love it and others hate it. So what are the rules for dating in London today?

Be Confident

Confidence is one of the sexiest things about a woman. You’re nervous, but so is your date. Be comfortable with who you are, though. If you’re confident, it’ll show. Both you and your date will be more at ease. No matter what flaws you think you have, put them to the side. You want your date to see you as the strong, confident woman you really are. Remember, be confident, but not overbearing. Making your date feel weak and insignificant won’t exactly endear them to you.

Be Polite

Be polite to your date. Respect them. Listen to what they have to say. Basically, follow the golden rule – treat them as you wish to be treated. Even if you’ve been set up on a blind date, be nice. If you’re polite, you’ll make your date feel more comfortable which will help conversation flow better. At the very least, even a bad date won’t be quite so bad if you’re both nice to each other.

Leave the Past Behind

The last thing your date wants to hear is stories about your exes. Women are notorious for verbally comparing their exes to whomever they’re currently dating. If your date asks about your past, give them minor details and not your entire life story. The more you focus on your past dates, the more you’ll not only bore, but drive away your date. Plus, if you tell your date everything in the first few dates you’ll have nothing left to tell them later. Some information should be kept to yourself, especially your love life before them.

Stay Sober

Drinking may seem like a great way to take the edge off your nerves. However, alcohol can actually limit your ability to assess your date. If your date keeps buying you drinks, they probably don’t have the best intentions. However, if you’re drunk or even tipsy you may not notice this. Staying sober will help you be more yourself and learn more about your date. Both of you will enjoy yourselves more and have few or no regrets about your date.

Dress Decently

Dress like you want to be treated. Most women want to look sexy or attractive on their date. However, this doesn’t mean clothes so tight you can’t breathe or clothes that don’t cover more than a few inches of skin. You want your date to respect you. Wearing revealing clothing is fine if that’s what you’re comfortable in. However, don’t try to be someone you’re not. You’ll give your date the wrong idea. Dress like a lady and be confident with your looks. Remember that leaving a little to the imagination is a good thing.

Don’t Force Conversation

Never try to force the conversation. The more you force, the more awkward you’ll both feel. Let the conversation flow naturally. Ask your date about their job and hobbies. Answer their questions as well. Don’t dominate the conversation either. If you really want to get to know your date, keep the conversation balanced. Listen as much as you speak. If you appear to be a good listener as well as a conversationalist, the conversation will go well. If there are silent moments, act naturally. Take the time to study your date or your surroundings and process what you’ve learned so far.

Ending a Bad Date

Sometimes you’re date just isn’t someone you find yourself attracted to. This doesn’t mean you need to rush out on them or be rude. There are correct and polite ways to end the date. Wait until the date is over. Don’t lead them on in any way. Cut off the flirting, but still be respectful. When the time comes to say goodnight, tell them goodnight and thank them for the date itself. If they do ask if you want to go out again, tell them you had a nice time, but just didn’t feel any connection with them. Never give them a goodnight kiss unless you want a second date.

Dating etiquette for women is fairly easy to master. Be yourself, be confident and be respectful. Women should remember that men are just as nervous about dating as they are. Pay attention to your date and just enjoy yourself. Life is short and we only live once...you may not meet that someone special but you will have a lovely evening and even make a good friend out of it so have fun, girls!

Camelia x